As parents, we want to be there for every milestone, every smile, and every moment of our child’s life. But the reality is, we can’t always physically be present. Whether it’s school, extracurricular activities, daycare, or even time spent with extended family and friends, there will be spaces where your child is out of your immediate care. In these moments, the question arises: how can you still ensure their safety?
The key lies in preparing, educating, and empowering both yourself and your child to reduce the risk of harm when you’re not physically there.
1. Choose Caregivers Wisely
When selecting individuals or organizations to care for your child, due diligence is essential.
- Research and vet organizations: Whether it’s a daycare, camp, or sports team, ask about their child protection policies. Do they conduct background checks on staff and volunteers? Do they have a code of conduct for interactions with children?
- Ask direct questions: When leaving your child with a friend, babysitter, or family member, don’t shy away from asking specific questions about how they will ensure your child’s safety.
- Trust your instincts: If something feels off about a person or environment, don’t ignore that feeling. It’s better to err on the side of caution.
2. Teach Your Child About Boundaries
Education is a powerful tool in preventing abuse. Start early and build age-appropriate conversations about body safety and boundaries:
- Body autonomy: Teach your child that their body belongs to them. Use proper names for body parts and make it clear that no one has the right to touch them without permission.
- Safe and unsafe touches: Explain the difference between touches that are okay (like a hug from a loved one) and touches that are not (any action that makes them feel uncomfortable or confused).
- Secrets vs. surprises: Help your child understand that safe surprises (like a birthday gift) are meant to be shared eventually, but secrets about their body are never okay.
3. Foster Open Communication
Create an environment where your child feels safe coming to you with questions, concerns, or disclosures:
- Be approachable: Let your child know they can talk to you about anything without fear of punishment or shame.
- Listen without judgment: If your child shares something uncomfortable, stay calm and validate their feelings. Reacting with anger or disbelief can discourage them from opening up again.
- Ask open-ended questions: Instead of “Did you have fun at practice?” try “Tell me about your day at practice. Who did you spend the most time with?”
4. Establish Clear Rules
Set clear expectations for the spaces and activities your child engages in:
- Buddy systems: Encourage your child to stick with a trusted friend or sibling in group settings.
- Check-in schedules: Arrange regular check-ins when your child is away. This could be a quick phone call, text, or conversation when they return home.
- Safe zones: Teach your child to identify safe adults or locations they can go to if they ever feel unsafe, such as a teacher, coach, or front office.
5. Monitor and Stay Involved
You don’t have to be present to stay informed about your child’s environment:
- Pop in unannounced: If possible, drop by daycare, practices, or group activities unexpectedly to observe how they are run.
- Build relationships: Get to know the adults in your child’s life, from teachers to coaches to babysitters. This connection can deter harmful behavior and help you identify red flags.
- Review online interactions: If your child has access to devices, stay aware of who they’re communicating with and set boundaries for online activity.
6. Empower Them to Say “No”
Children need to know that they have the right to say “no” to anyone, even adults:
- Practice scenarios: Role-play situations where your child might need to assert themselves, like saying “no” to an unwanted hug or refusing to keep a secret.
- Reinforce their voice: Remind your child that their feelings matter and that it’s okay to speak up if something feels wrong.
7. Trust Your Village
Build a network of trusted individuals who share your commitment to your child’s safety:
- Collaborate with teachers and coaches: Discuss your concerns and expectations with those overseeing your child’s activities.
- Engage other parents: Work together to watch over each other’s children and share information about safe spaces and practices.
A Final Thought: Presence Beyond Proximity
Being present when you’re not physically there means being proactive, intentional, and engaged in your child’s life. It means equipping your child with the tools to navigate their world safely, fostering trust and communication, and ensuring the adults around them are committed to their well-being.
Your physical absence doesn’t have to mean a lapse in protection. By taking these steps, you can create a safety net that keeps your child secure, loved, and empowered, no matter where they are.
Let’s commit to safeguarding our children—at home, at school, and everywhere in between.
